the story

Wednesday, 24 March 2010

  • How much time i spent to thinking of you, trying to forget u, trying to forgive you, trying to love you although not much like before, but i just can do some of them, i can't do all that..

    Loving,,,loving you, this is so bothering me, also forgiving you.

    if i thought more past why i liked you so much, i can't find a good reason to answer my own question,...
    what i liked from you ??? i don't really get it now,

    but about hating u, maybe i know the reason,
    you hurt me, you hurt me with nice...why you did that, why ???

    she is my best friend,,,maybe i trapped in triangle love with the cast; me, you, and my best friend

    when you told me u can't receive my feeling to you, i felt nothing,..no sad, no happy, but i just thought you.. i wanna you happy with the girl u love..

    but why you didn't tell me, that girl is my best friend....

    how come i know your feeling by your awareness to her after i said i love you??
    why did i feel both of you play behind me,?
    why did both of you didn't try to be honest ?/

    yes, i know you like her...
    i knew it from her,...

    and this time i feel so angry, disappointed, really sad, and hate....

    maybe i knew your reason but i can't tell it....

    for u, for her, and for me,....

    i can't...  

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

  • whaT a suck a day

    this is so several times i lost a change to get it.....
    why i was so late....that's so annoying me...I can't forgive myself again....Oh God...this is so make me crazy...
    I had already more patient for many times but....huh...for this time i can't receive...I wanna destroy anything now...

    Or must I more patient again ???
    oh I think i can't do it....enough for this time..
    for next time i will get you...don't care with anything...

Friday, 01 January 2010

  • How much i Love U

    How much i love u mother,,,
    but why u did this to me...why u said like that...
    Do i so wrong in your eyes ???
    Do i'm not a good child for u ???
    Since i was kid, u never say " I love u,Mega"...even when Father was angry with me, u never say "Stop it" to father, U and father just like him,, Does he is a good child for both of you ??? Can't you love me too,???

    You are not my step parents, but why ???
    I am not robot or doll, i am a human, i can hurt, i can broken heart, i can sad, i can cry, i can jealous....

    In this year i am 20 years old, but why i am still get that..
    I wanna make happy family like the another family in this world,
    I wanna you see my prestige with smiling, proud
    but u didn't come to my historical moment in the rest of my life...
    I was jealous with my the another friends, their parents came to see them,
    But me, I just can grab my trophy without both of u stand beside me, i can grab it with sad smiling and crying only. Have u ever think about my feeling???
    Have u ever think about my situation ??/
    Have u ever ask me "How about your job today?" ??
    Have u keep me when i am sick ???
    Have u give me a suggestion to go to doctor when i am sick ???
    Never,....
    Too many i cry for both of u,,,,
    I never learn about the world from u, i never learn about choose a good man from u,mother, i never learn an leader attitude from u,father..
    I never, even the Faith.

    I'm so disappointed with U and especially my self..because i can't become a good kid in your eyes.

Monday, 14 December 2009

  • huh....
    so bad day
    no one can make me smile today
    i just wanna be happy for a second but i can't

    this month
    this christmas
    all christian will be happy
    and for me, this friday i will be happy too
    because that is special day for all moslem

    but i think this is a december blue for me and some of my friends...
    no one can talk each other....

    ohhhh....

    we must be patient with this all..

Friday, 10 April 2009

Tuesday, 03 March 2009

  • true / false ??

    i don't know what it is true or false...when you love someone you will think it's true everything about that feeling is true.but how if that feeling actually wrong,,so wrong!!!

    I felt in love with my friend, he always make me so comfort, i didn't know how come i got that feeling..
    I thought it's so wrong because he has already have a girlfriend,,and i know her..
    Now i don't know what should i do...i can stand this feeling if I stand in front of him and her..but i can't stand if i always keep this feeling...
    My friend said to me " you should said about your feeling to him..about everything will be happen forget it, don't think about it for right now, ok?!"
    and you know, i didn't do what my friend said..because i feel so worry and afraid of..

    what should i do now?? please tell me?!!

Thursday, 26 February 2009

  • when did u feel so sad because your parents?

    it happened when i was still a student in high school last year, exactly on may 2008..That day of that month, in 4th may i became a champion from a high competition among student..i was so happy because what i dreamed it came true, finally i got a goblet from my own struggling..but i felt pretty sad when the final day or the end of the competition, the annoucement about some champions it made so nervous..the event would be held on 4 pm but i came on 1 pm..actually i hoped my parents could go with me in that event but i was wrong, it just a dream,,the empty dream..they didn't want to..they used their work as excuse..it's so disappointed me as their daughter..
    when the MC called my in first as first champion in my category i was so happy very very happy..i've already forgotten about my parents but when i 'n my another friends took some picture with their parents each other,,suddenly i felt so alone..so pity..one of my friends her name,Sam asked me "why do your parents not come?" i answered her with the tears...i tried to not cried but i couldn't till my principal saw me,.he thought i cried because i won..but it's not...i kept going cried even when i shaked my hand with my another friends...it's so embarassing me..but it was what i feeling in that moment... I felt had no father n mother..even my broken home's friends, Nina, her parents came to saw her as first champion...
    i really don't know what my parents are thingking about their children...

Tuesday, 03 February 2009

  • what a boring day

    always like this, no one arround me just notebook and my cyber fren and music too...so boring..every day i always alone in my room,,the another employee seldom stay long here..just me..just me!!!

    i don't know anymore what will i say...just bye
  • my regret

    I'm not a loser but it just what i felt,,. like the other man in this office, i very don't llike about everything i don't know so much.. i respect my boss but i really didn't know why suddenly i said like that. I refused his command to go to confference in our Major's house.. I said i couldn't because i had many assignment here..firstly he tried to persuade me but i still with my decision. i won't go. but after that i felt so sorry so i was sorry to him by YM. for a second he didn't reply my messages i more felt guilty..suddenly he replied my messages. "it's Ok.just Chill out".. i was better.

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

  • My Scariest Nightmare - The Uninvited Contest

    that night exactly when i've already forgotten..i just watched Heroes series in star world, in my country i don't know about the another country, the people always say that in thursday night some ghosts will appear. ah that's just the bedtime story for some kids who don't wanna go to bed but something happened to me..

    When i wanted to go to bed i felt terrible situation, i felt there's someone watched me over in my back.i couldn't move my head but i couldn't feel that it's so close to me..suddenly i felt scary..at 11.30 pm i decided to sleep although i still felt like that..when i closed my eyes i heard a foot-step in my living room. i just let it but it's more closer so i woke up from my mattress and the voice was gone..that's so confusing me because when i closed my eyes twice that's voice came back again.i woke up again and it's gone.in third i still heard that but i didn't care..i didn't know how long it's happen that i knew i was already sleeping and dreaming..in my dream i was in a place that i didn't know, that place is arounded by some trees and empty house, in the top street to forest the people' shadows passed me, and i followed it..when i wanna to see it suddenly there's a girl ran to that place i was stand..i ran fastly..that girl was kept me going without stoping..when i arrive in a hill i saw a big trees in front of me..without doubting i walked to that trees and tried to see what's the thing behind that trees..it's like deja vu, i felt ever in there..it's not weird for me i felt so knew that place but i didn't know when and where i saw n stayed in there maybe i've ever went to that place in the dream too..when i felt that place it's so scaring me.. i was more scaring when a hand touched my shoulders..i was resulting many sweat..that hand didn't let me so i decided to turned around and i saw a scary face like sadako actually it's like kuntilanak -the woman ghost in Indonesia- i wanna scream but i couln't...suddenly i opened my eyes and my sweat've already wet my body .i was more afraid when i felt i didn't sleep alone in my bed because i didn't see it..i wanna see the clock but i couldn't because it's located behind me,the sweat didn't stop and the loneliness didn't i felt anymore..with a braveness i turned my face around and that face i saw in my dream appeared in my face and smiled for me..i became a freeze..and i saw it's a 02.00 am..i didn't know how i could close my eyes...when i woke up i suddenly cried and it's still midnight, at 1.30 am. 

       

    I just blogged about my scariest nightmare to enter The Uninvited Scariest Nightmare Contest for 1,000 credits. You can earn free credits too! Brought to you by The Uninvited - In Theaters January 30th.

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chat (5)

  • zala_99
    @th3ad0re -haha....aku pun pertama lihat ur face q pkir orang LN eh ternyata setelah melihat ur profl, orang Medan..Indonesia
    • Posted 10/16/2008 7:19 PM
    • by zala_99
  • semutkia
    @zala_99 - kecewa? ga lagi.. buat apa kecewa.. haha gue pikir elu org LN.. = ]
  • zala_99
    @th3ad0re - ya benar sekali..kecewa?
    • Posted 10/16/2008 4:51 AM
    • by zala_99
  • semutkia
    Ternyata anda adlh org indonesia.. Astaga..
  • zala_99
    i'm like a crazy people... send a messages to own self.
    • Posted 9/10/2008 5:15 AM
    • by zala_99

zala_99

  • Visit zala_99's Xanga Site
    • Name: zala_99
    • Birthday: 2/13/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/7/2008

This is me

  • I very like korean comic , korean drama , am very friendly

hmm

what is !t

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